Similarity Visible, Difference Hidden


There were two twins in the year above at my school: the younger was called Ales and the older, born a few minutes earlier, was Tomas...I have been thinking about them often in the last few days...I met Ales recently at Dejvická, at the bus stop – where the Kulatak Square is...he passed by without noticing me; I waved to him – but he didn’t react; despite that I run after him...I said to myself: maybe he didn’t see me but if he did – maybe he didn’t recognise me – we hadn’t seen each other for about fifteen years...I caught up with him on the stairs to the Metro; he was looking at me with a slightly surprised expression – it was evident that he wasn’t recognising me – I greeted him and he still wasn’t doing anything;  I was pretty cheesed off and so I reminded myself to him...I won’t repeat it here but - believe me – it was worth it...and you know what he did...he started laughing; and that threw me  even more, but – and I have to say that again – he reacted immediately and apologised; he didn’t know me and I must be mistaken – it happens to him quite often: people see him in the street and call him strange names – their friends’ names or names of distant relatives; he never found out why it was, but perhaps – quite certainly – because of his ordinary face; he smiled again – this time a bit nervously, said good-bye and left...he looked so much like Ales, if you could only see him; his face – to the last detail, as if he had a double, a brother he never talked about...and that’s what it was...but I only realised after some time...how come I didn’t mix him up with Tomas?  -  And only with Ales? – How come? – they are twins and they still have to look alike even at thirty...and so I remembered that house party at the end of our third year – Maybe you remember it too -  it took place at Helena Janečková’s parents’ house in Dejvice; they were on holiday at the Canaries ...there were about twenty people there; not only from high school...the fourth year, they were just before their A-levels exams and we weren’t seeing much of them...and at that time I had been madly in love with Tomas for six months already; excuse me, I’ve never told you that, but I was trying to get him just as most other girls from high school and I had to be careful; we went to the cinema a few times, but otherwise nothing – no sex – nothing...he knew how to manipulate us...he knew when to smile, when to flatter – and mainly:  he was the type of person who – whatever he wears – he will always look good...I don’t have to remind you of that...he is probably wearing T-shits, washed out jeans and trainers to this day...I can’t imagine him any other way...when for example I remember his uncombed hair...well, nothing...but when he started working for his A-levels, he stopped contacting me...I knew very well that after this party I may not see him again; the vacations will start and - he will go on holiday with his parents or friends, then he will start at university...you know how it goes...to make it short: it didn’t work out ...there I found out: that the reason why we don’t see each other – is not because of the A-levels, but because of a new girlfriend; they paraded there in front of everybody – just as all pairs do it the first few weeks and months...and as I sat there, fed up with the whole situation, Ales sat down next to me...a few days earlier he shaved off his beard – which was disgustingly thin and long down to his chest; he also didn’t wear one of his suits – thanks to them he looked more like a homeless bum than a high school student... he was different from Tomas – Do you remember how he was always changing his looks? ...every six months – sometimes even more often; which was – and perhaps still is – quite untypical for any high school twins; they usually use their interchangeability to score better with teachers... those two were usually transgressing this stereotype – which was thanks to Ales...I always felt that he was born without taste and now he is trying to catch up with those constant changes – to no avail...what his brother had plenty, he was lacking...but at that party he reminded me of his brother – he finally got it right...we started talking and I discovered that he had a great sense of humour...slightly unusual, not easy to define...well, I won’t prolong it: I slept with him and it was quite nice...why am I saying this?: the next day in the morning we decided to buy breakfast for everybody in the house...the closest shop was Delvita, I think - or some other similar supermarket... as we were walking through, a couple started talking to us – well, to Ales and they called him the wrong name: they confused him with a friend of theirs – exactly the same as I did a few days ago...maybe it was him, god only knows...on the way back Ales told me  that it happens to him frequently: people always confuse him with somebody else and he is getting fed up with it; especially when it never happens to his brother...he is the example of extraordinariness...he went on and started complaining about him...that was too much for me – I told him, that I wasn’t going to listen to this, left the shopping with him and left...and only then I realised what I had done...everything is temporary – especially as far as my relationships go...a few years later at the high school reunion – he was the first one, that’s where I finally got Tomas...but this is all I am going to tell you...I don’t like to remember that night...it’s not that the night was bad, but I was expecting too much...a few years later all was gone...but I had to try it – what if... but I tell you one thing: it’s weird to think back on how the two interchangeable bodies – they even had the same willies – tried to take me their own way...in certain moments, their behaviour was so similar that momentarily I believed that I was with Tomas and in fact I was with Ales, and vice-versa...but I don’t want to tire you – I cut it short...simply: I still don’t know what I think about them and this incident has complicated it even more.